He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
