I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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