i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize