I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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