I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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