dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
