I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
