escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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