I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
