The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
