okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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