Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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