so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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