can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dicks are not precious.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
