one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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