I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
