North Korea, Best Korea!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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