We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
