Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
