She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
