We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
