Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize