I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
