We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
