There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
