suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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