I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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