Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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