You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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