i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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