i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
