i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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