If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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