That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
