Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
