just come out here and I will go home with you...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
