she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
