ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
