Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Can I color on your dick again?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
