recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
