I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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