you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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