**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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