this boner is exhausting
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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