I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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