he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
