Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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