I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
