this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
