im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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