none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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