College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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