It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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