I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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