State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize