somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
