i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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