Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
