I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
